New Beginnings

http://cavegirlinthecity.com/monday-morning-motivation-39/

For those of you who followed my blog last year, or for new readers following me now, I would like to take a moment to explain why I am doing this.  I feel that my life has become full of stagnant and negative energy resulting from various life experiences combined with my perception of those experiences.  For the last few years I have been struggling with various issues, which you can read about here at www.steffsrecovery.blogspot.com if you like, or you can join me on a new journey that starts right now.  After a great deal of learning and pondering, I feel like I am ready to change my approach and outlook on things; my ways of doing and thinking, in order to move past the things that have been holding me back from achieving the life and the health that I truly want.

Now, I know this might sound kind of like some hippy-new-age-the secret-kind of thing, but maybe it sort of is.  For the last few years, I have been reading about the mind, and how it works; how certain things and experiences shape the mind, and how our bodies and lives are the result of our perception.  At first, I thought this was bullshit, but now I find myself wondering, could it hurt to try?  I've been unhappy for quite sometime, and struggled with this and that, and find that I just want to change everything about it.  Maybe if I start with no longer dwelling in what I don't like, and instead focus on what could be improved?  Instead of comparing myself with what I think I should be, why not accept that this is who I am in this moment, but it doesn't have to be that way forever.  I have been reading about and envying other people whom I deem "successful"- who I want to be like; while at the same time perceiving myself to be different from them; not as good, not as deserving.  Why? Various life experiences that I won't go into detail here. I've been thinking lately though, what if the way I feel about myself is contributing to why I am unhappy?  So what would happen if I changed the way I thought about myself, or about life?  Would positive thoughts and encouragement lead to positive relationships and health?  I don't know, because I haven't lived that yet.  But it seems like it works for others, so maybe I should just try? This time instead of thinking "I can't be like this because" or "I don't have this because" I can just think "how can I make this better?"  Actually use and follow the advice and actions of others to reach success! I have a tendency to live in a bit of a fantasy world, which is much better than the one I really live in.  But what if my fantasy world were integrated with my real world?  What if I actually lived in real life the way I dream of?  I am ready to let go of those thoughts and behaviours that have been holding me back, and ready to make great strides in improving my life and those of people around me.

I see Luc growing more and more defiant and angry, and I don't like that.  I see my weight and my skin still not being what I would like.  I see the mess in my house and think that it must be symbolic of the mess in my head; so what if I cleaned it up?  Focused my energy on making things better, rather than dwelling on how it's bad.  This is inspired by years of reading about psychology, food and nutrition, exercise, movement, and yoga philosophy, and listening to guidance from those I admire.  I am no expert in anything at this point, but I am ready to just trust in the process of what is to come, and would like to share it here.  I will not make any claims about anything I am doing and how it will change your life, but I will let you know if it changes my life.  It would be great if you would like to join me; every year I make this "life-changing" plan that I never follow through on.  Something comes up, or it's too hard, or I'm too busy, but I've decided I'm done with that.  For accountability, I will post here daily with the small, positive changes I am making in all aspects of my life, and just trust in the process that things will get better.

I have been thinking about the saying "when one door closes, another one opens" and wondering what could happen if I am the one closing the door on the past, and opening a new door to right now.  No expectations on the outcome, just mindful curiosity in what is happening now.
So here goes!