I just want to check in today about expectations, and how they almost limit possibilities. I seem to always have this idea in my head about what "should" be, or how something "should" turn out, and often I am disappointed with the result. I do realize that opening my mind and accepting each situation for what it is will bring me far more peace in the long run; but it seems like letting go is easier said than done. I suppose for a long time I've had a general idea in my head of what I'd like my life to look like, and it has definitely changed over the years. I acknowledge that I can't control everything in my life, and that the more I try to control things, the harder things get. It is a challenge to be content with what is, when all I can think about is what I think should be. And this goes with everything- my health, my relationships, my career path, school. If I don't like what is currently happening in my life, I have a tendency to seek happiness somewhere else. But this often leads to more misery than what I started with. What's so wrong with just accepting everything as it is, and understanding that if I want it to be different, I am the one to make that change. During a seminar I was watching back in May, the facilitator referred to being content as "waking up every day and not wanting to change a thing". Maybe not everything is perfect, but everything is as it is, and you are able to draw peace from your surroundings. I think this is definitely going to be a work in progress; I know there are many things I wake up to, wanting them to be different. But is different better?
I've been thinking lately about the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side", which makes me wonder if it really is. Would things be better if I had the body I want? Would things be better if I had a partner who shared all of my interests? Would things be better if I had more money? Okay, so I will argue that having more money would likely make things better, and not in the sense that money buys happiness. Financial security would probably make things better, not necessarily financial abundance. Sure, it would be great to have lots of money, but for now I would be happy if all of the bills were paid, and I didn't have collectors calling me daily. In time, that will come. But for now, while I sit here in luxurious poverty (as in people living in "real" poverty don't wear designer clothes, have iPhones and iPads, and drive a brand new car) I so often find myself complaining about not having enough money or time to do the things I want. There is so much emphasis these days around "living the life you want" or "living the life of your dreams", which seems to often revolve around cruises and private planes, swimming pools and mansions,cars, money, luxury. Why are these the things we are supposed to want? Are these the things that will truly make us happy? I don't know, and I don't really think so. Yes, it would be great to have all these things, but they are just things. Will your private jet care for you when you are ill? Will your mansion be there for you during good times and bad? Probably not. But back to my original point here- what if I watered the grass on the side that I am on? Instead of always dreaming about what I would like my world to be, maybe I should open my eyes to what it is right now. If I am so focused on what I don't have yet, how can I even be aware of what I do have?
I think this is a fairly common problem in post-modern society; we are constantly bombarded with images and messages about what we should want, what we should look like, and what should be important to us. So what if we all ignored this? What if we took a moment to be truly grateful for what we have, in this moment? Sure, I have more body fat than I want, but if I were to get seriously ill, then maybe I'd have a longer chance to live than someone who is underweight? I have more body fat than I want, but I don't have diabetes or a heart condition (that I know of). I am able to wake up each day, get myself out of bed, and care for myself without requiring assistance from someone else. I have a partner who loves me for who I am right now, not for who I might become. I have family who care about me, whom I am able to spend time with; three of four grandparents well into old age who still live in their own homes. I honestly think these are the things we need to cherish- people, not things. Cherish and love yourself unconditionally, and love others just the same. Stop waiting to be happy, and start being happy right now. Find it inside yourself, and let it radiate to those around you. "Water the grass" by nourishing the relationships you have right now, instead of searching for something else. Realize that what you have right now is enough, don't always seek out something more.
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